Sunday, December 02, 2012

The Numbers from the Hidden Treasure..

I am right now attempting something similar to what Mark Zuckerburg supposedly did at his hostel room at Harvard University ( as portrayed in the film 'The Social Network'). I am right now Blogging and replying to birthday wishes on FB in two different tabs at the same time by switching tabs often...(Writing codes and blogging simultaneously was astonishing multitasking atrocity... ).I really like people who wish on Birthdays because , I don't. Sometimes I do.. Sometimes I don't. I don't remember birthdays until I open my facebook page through web.. I mostly FB through the phone and the FB app does not display birthdays on the front page and hence I miss wishing a lot of people... Hmmm.. A lot of my school friends..

So much has happened in the past 2 months... The least interesting of them all was I shifted home.. Not necessarily surprising.. It was special though... We 'discover' hidden 'treasures' during shifting , don't we ? Something very very special... Guess what ? I found my Class IX and X Report Card. The pages of class X were missing though.. So here it goes.. My Class IX Report Card and assessment remarks by the loathed Prathima Sharma Miss...  Wow..

Ha ha.. Treasure...  Nostalgic.
Those were the days where I was consistent. Yes. Consistent non performance.. I was getting some amazing scores.. kidding.. Some of the scores were too pathetic as you can see...

Those red underlines are the periodic class tests I failed.... See that 2.5 out of 20...?? Lol...  

This one is my Favorite page...  Wow... I have got a ZERO !! ROFL... 


My Overall Average was less than 40 in Maths and Science during Class IX. 

Very Very Honest comments from my Class Teacher... 
Courtesy my scores , I was promoted to Class X (what an achievement) based on an undertaking.. Warning Promotion ! 
There are a couple of interesting things here. You could have noticed that my father has never signed my report card. It was always my mother. Not that she was considerate (she was equally livid as my father and had more 'vocabulary' than my father) but for my father it was an 'ego' issue. He could not sign for a son who had failed almost all exams.However somewhere in between my Class X , he started signing again.(not that my scores improved dramatically). He was obviously worried about my scores and had approached for a astrologer's consultation who informed him that it was that 'seven and a half' saturn that was spoiling my efforts and I was actually taking efforts.. ha ha..  The truth remains that I simply did not study well.. I just lost interest.. I was in haze..  Unlike others , (who thronged every tuition centre in mylapore for being Class topper) I used to bunk tuition classes and go to play cricket.. I used to attend tests and exams without preparations.. I was such a care free person... But then,  (surprisingly) I always felt in the back of mind , that if I put my backside to one place and study , I could beat them all hands down... ( That confidence completely vanished one day which is a completely different story about which  I have written a lot). Its just that I did not study then... I was not serious enough with my studies....

Even at that age , I could see the funny side of my failure.. Frankly , It meant nothing to me... I just could not fathom girls fighting for half a mark with teachers.. still cant digest.. I never used to check the totals when I receive my paper.. I used to see my favorite question (Favorite question would always be that enrichment question which would be outside the syllabus ), look at what marks the teacher gave for that answer of mine and then would judge the quality of that teacher and stuff my paper in my bag. How arrogant !.

This report card is precisely the reason why my school teachers and classmates look at me with awe now when I meet them and say to them now that I am a Chartered Accountant..... "I always knew u were brilliant.. its just that you were little out of track.." is what my Classmate Sivaram KP said after I cleared. I replied.. " If only you knew the efforts that went with it , you would not call me brilliant..".  (According to me , CA course is an average student's best friend...  CA course does not want your brilliance.. You being brilliant or not is totally irrelevant... It needs only your efforts...).

I want to dwell on the irrelevance of these marks.. What marks you get at school is totally irrelevant after you join college.What marks you get in college is totally irrelevant after you go to a Job..

Having said that , If only I could have concentrated on Maths during my School days , I would now be fast with numbers. I could have cleared my CA exams a little earlier with less efforts.. The love for numbers has vanished in me only because of my indifferent attitude towards studies at school. The only way to be good and fast with numbers is to constantly practice with numbers.. I had not done that for 7 years in school. And suddenly , you give me numbers in life , I am slow.. Not one day goes without repenting on my slowness with numbers.. Not that I did not have the skills but I just did not cultivate it. I just did not practice it when it had to be practiced..

I was one extreme in school... I just wish I could have taken the mid-path.. But If I had, that would have not been me... :)


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Paper...

This post is not about Times of India but since the topic is 'paper' I am unable to ignore that daily soft porn magazine.Even though , TOI has no relevance to this post of mine , I feel this is worth sharing. Incidentally when Deccan Chronicle was first introduced in Chennai , it cost only Re 1 (Penetration Pricing) and I remember my college mates buying it before entering Udhayam theater so that it can be torn into pieces and thrown on the screen.Even though TOI is costlier than DC nowadays , these guys now prefer to buy TOI before entering theaters just for the pleasure of tearing it and throwing on the screen. Yes.. Just for the pleasure of tearing it. (A lesser known fact - Goli's are put on Goli Soda bottles just to give the drinker the pleasure / satisfaction / kick factor arising out of his effort of forcing the Goli inside the bottle.. ! )

What about Paper then ?.. No. I do not intend to dwell (bore you)on greenery , environment and sustainability . I want to focus on the present day corporate 'cultured' (really?) world and on the ....

The Dreaded 'P' Word :

I first heard this term when I was coming down to the work space after having a sumptuous lunch. I just did not understand. The post lunch stupor did not help either... I ignored. Then couple of days later , a colleague  of mine from a different team wanted to know about his crush in my team. He came to me and asked "ava pottutaala?"..... "enna pottutaala ?" .. "adhaan da..ava paper pottutaala ? ellarum pesikuraakaanga..".... I knew she resigned and hence could connect 'Paper podradu' and resignation. The exact origin of this idiom is  still unknown ( I have googled ) and I think its use is restricted only in India... Nowadays  people ignore the  prefix and speak. Its just "pottutiya ?" or "pottutaana?" and thereby giving scope to many virginity related 'jokes' (and these so called 'grown ups' still call it a joke..!) Such jokes apart... I feel we need to focus on why this attrition happens..

I think a person will resign from a secure job only because of 2 reasons. One is 'Lack of job satisfaction' and the other obviously the' 'feeling' of better job opportunities' or a combination of both. (And there is an exception. Girls nowadays quit their jobs to get married and settle in America.!) Other reasons he/she may or may not disclose to the HR is according to me not a reason but a contributing factor to supra mentioned reasons.

Pay scale is an important factor. As humans we are most interested in knowing what the other person earns. We simply are not content and that makes us leave our jobs. Promotion or rather the lack of it is one other contributing factor to attrition rate. It hurts maximum when your peer or junior gets promotion before you. Obviously , everyone cannot be promoted. From what I have heard , there are some enterprises which have a very very poor promotion policy and some companies do not put to action a policy that exists. Recognition in one form or the other is absolutely vital.

Appraisal - The less said the better. Its just a formality exercise nowadays and seldom does anything fruitful come from it.Its obvious that people will just not accept poor performance rating . The way the management words it as 'Constructive feedback' is comical to say the least. Your performance counselor arrives and asks "so how do you think the year went ?". You are stumped. "hmmm.. good i guess..".. " It could have been better , is it not ?" and you are coerced to say what they want to say and you reply "yes.." Matter over. We just need to be happy with mid rating.Yes. The high performance ratings are reserved for the 'jalras'.. Most of these counselors have prejudice and that is the reason I feel this appraisal meetings are all pure waste of time.


There are people who leave their jobs because , they feel they are not being involved in certain jobs. There are people who leave their jobs because , they feel they are being involved only in certain jobs.Funny !. And there are also guys (very rare though) who feel that they do not belong to this corporate world.They are just uncomfortable with the profit motive of these enterprises and would be happier in a 'not for profit' organisation. Their moral value system hurts ! (quite extraordinary).

Education plays a very important role. There are effective and efficient people whose promotion and pay cycle are slow simply because they do not have the required qualification. Somewhere deep that hurts and they quit. Work environment also plays a major contributing factor. The conduct of their team members, the immediate reporting authority (a poor, short tempered boss) contributes to their decision. Some people quit because they need to report to too many people and need to multi task. (Its simple management theory that a person cannot and will not be able to report to more than two people efficiently . However , that is what is required nowadays. Nobody understands how practically difficult it is.) Some quit to continue their passion. Some quit to have more personal time. It happens in consultancy , where people move to industry to have more time to themselves. Some quit simply because they have been there for very long.!.. Some people move everywhere and then finally come to the place where they started ! . All this happens because , no body is happy where they are.. If only that changes...

Also , People do not choose their jobs wisely. Yes. People may not often get what they want. That's the time you need to be stubborn that you need only 'Petromax light'. Some wait for the 'Petromax light' , some do not and then suffer early in their career.They later quit and move because they want to be in their preferred line. When a person realizes that his tasks do not mesh well with his personality or talents , he quits.This according to me cannot be questioned. Its after all their lives and each one of them have a right to choose. I have heard many HR stories where they question the integrity of a person when he quits. Lack of integrity to me is selling your enterprise's data with another , not quitting and joining the other enterprise. In pure law terms, in absence of 'mens rea' , I feel the case is lost for the management to question the integrity of an employee. The management needs to understand that employee's have no loyalty nowadays. There is this tamil saying... "koorai mela sotha potta , aayiram kaka".. They know if they leave , another 'slave' is ready to occupy and hence there is little scope for loyalty etc.


Also , we need to look at the other side. Its tough on the recruiters too. People just drop in a mail to the HR and everything they think is over. The most interesting thing is the change in the attitude of both the management and the employee once the paper is put. The management thinks you are a dead resource and does not treat you properly during the 'notice period'. Its also very easy to find out who is 'that' person who has 'put papers' among your colleagues. The hitherto sincere guy who now comes late and leaves early is 'that' guy. 




P.s. I quit my job recently and joined its competitor.! (in a different service line though)  

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

That Blessed Soul...

Among sour grapes I did find her.. 
surprisingly sugary and saccharine...
possessing charm and intellect like none..
bundled with contagious serenity and passion...
not more than a minute it took to realise ..
- She was a blessed soul...


Not that easy coming with a reputation...
to still be the person next door...
reminding us all that feats do not matter as much..
as the person you are after the accomplishment...



Very difficult for you to gaze those eyes...
and even more awkward to ogle...
but ironically effortless to natter... but the consequence..
- twilight cloud gazing and restlessness..

Just when you thought you have 'discovered'...you hear things...
you probe more and learn her background is not all that white...
And I did think...you too ?? and I did....
come to terms that in this age no one is spared...
and then question arises...

- Is she really blessed ?


Saturday, June 16, 2012

Rimes from an 'Hopeless Romantic'...


As it happens , I am back with my 'polambals' after a hiatus of 2 months which I think is quite normal considering that I have now officially entered a 'job'(which i must admit is a completely new pressure to handle).The other reason (main reason) for my absence is frankly lack of thoughts.This is bewildering to me since I normally have ideas overflowing to write about.The sudden 'block' surely has had me in fear. There was/is a fear that my blogging would cease due to lack of creativity.


Hey Mr. Creativity ! Where are you ?? 



Having said that I could have written a couple more in the previous month but I consciously avoided writing about anything that is even remotely close to the topics relating to either Kamal Hassan or Cricket. The idea behind that is surely the fact that I wanted to avoid that nauseating effect(particularly since there is that obvious blog post about Vishwaroopam due in the first week of July).

Coming from that is the obvious question on whether I have lost commitment. And I am not just talking about the break in blogging. Looking back , I have a feeling that I had much more commitment to whatever I did previously. I fear that the aggressor inside me has toned down a bit something like what happened to Dhoni in the past couple of years.I only hope its momentary. Put in Tamil , I can say everything in life to me now has 'thegatipochu'.. (Is there an English word to describe exactly that..? Let me know if there is one.). It is dangerous , is it not ? I have ceased to take any problem/issue that comes my way seriously...Why has this happened to me ? I am presently in a state where I think 'edhu vandaalum paathukalaam'.. From being a 'tension party' to being this 'come what may' is a huge change. And I am made to wonder whether this transformation in me is positive or negative..??

Personal fears aside , the one thing that I am unable to come to terms is with what I receive from the world nowadays.. I fear we have as a society failed to receive quality for quite sometime now. When was the last time you heard a QUALITY song?. When was the last time you saw a QUALITY innings ?. When was the last time you saw a QUALITY movie ?. Everything that seems new and interesting is either already seen or is  a  rip off.. Yes.. I fear that there has been quality depreciation all across. I am  made to stick with the notion that whatever that was in the past had quality.I know it is not entirely correct too. This brings me to another important question on whether we have began to accept and settle for the 'second best' and be happy and satisfied ?

Has 'quality'  taken a retirement along with Dravid ?

Maybe Yes. But I have always had a fascination with the term 'Second best'. (By second best , here I mean something like  'Senorita song' in a movie where that is not the best song or Dravid's 180 and not what I meant in the previous para.)If you can get what I am trying to say , you will understand that there is always this heavy competition for the 'best' and according to me it is best avoided. In the commotion for 'trying' for the 'best' , often the 'second best' goes unnoticed. Here is where I try to seize the opportunity. However , nowadays  there is heavy competition for even the 'Second best' since as I mentioned there is a 'quality' depreciation overall..:) (Lol.. how it fits !).


And....

Yes.. coming back to that 'Hopeless Romantic' mentioned in the title. No prizes for guessing who it is.  I am in that stage of my life where every other peer  I meet is either committed , engaged or married.!. And a colleague (irritatingly) reminded me that I am now 24 , and if I ever had to be in a relationship , it should have happened by now. His logic was simple. He said , nowadays, all the good ones are 'picked up' maximum by 17 and even 'leftovers' are being 'grabbed' before 20..!  I showed him back this (below) picture to tell him why I am yet to fall in a relationship...



He put a smiley and wrote 'fool' and then sent me this (below) picture as attachment through Email as a reply....




P.S. I actually consider myself as a 'regular' blogger.... And if there is any 'irregularity' , you know on 'whom' I am likely to fall back to restore the 'regularity'..Here's hoping to meet you all with that person soon :) Cheers.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Turn to Chapter 1 , Page 4 , Para 3...

I am made to seriously lament my lack of decent articulation skills for two consecutive posts now. This is because when I want to write about The Rahul Dravid , my vocabulary seems to be very limited and I have a fear that I may end up not expressing who HE was and what HE truly epitomizes. More so because , every time during this past month when I sit down to write about him , I would stumble upon truck load of 'tributes' written by journalists , commentators , fellow players etc.(I read all of them and I found Rohit Brijnath's and Vijetha's tribute to be the best).

I can probably understand why there was/is an overdose of Dravid during the past month.I think, when Dravid's retirement came, people suddenly felt guilty that somewhere down the line they have failed to recognize his contribution.In a way, people redeemed their guiltiness by being part of Dravid's farewell through media/FB/twitter.(This yours truly post is also an attempt to wipe off some guiltiness).But hey.. quite frankly , the man deserves this overdose and I certainly dont mind it.

That trademark forward defense that is etched in the minds of cricket lovers.... 

There were two ominous signs in 2011 before the Australian Tour that said to a lot of us that Dravid's end is nearer.One,he was dropping a lot more than he held.(As Vijetha pointed out,he himself hated it). Dravid takes his catching seriously and has set high standards.The reflex you associate with him began to fade.(As a kid , I used to imitate his famous reflex swivel at silly point to avoid a cut shot being hit at him.)

Second is that he began to show something that we would not normally associate with him.For the first time we could see Dravid's ego coming to the forefront. It happened right throughout the press conferences at England when he scored those centuries. There was a certain high headedness and a tone of arrogance and anger (which I admit is totally normal and understandable but could have been avoided). Sadly that continued in his Bradman oration too. Quotes like "He (BRADMAN)was, primarily, like me, a No.3 batsman. It is a tough, tough job. We're the ones who make life easier for the kings (Read SACHIN) of batting, the middle order that follows us.".Very true but this also could have been avoided. However that should not take away the quality of that speech. The way he subtly took a dig at all the critics of BCCI and IPL should be appreciated... Many felt until that Bradman oration, his bat did the talking...

The most painful sight in cricket is to watch a legend struggle. He was the best 'leaver' of the ball I know. He was always sure of his off stump...He could always read the swing on the ball.. But.. everything just vanished from him one australian summer morning.. And then the inevitable came.. his decision to retire and many of us felt that the timing of that to be perfect. The Australian tour has been inexplicable for many reasons and Dravid and Laxman’s failure is surely surprising.

Frankly many of us (I certainly) hated him simply because he was text book. He was conventional. One look at Rahul Dravid , and you know whatever field he entered, he would have been amongst the best.. If he had been into medicine , he would have been among the best doctors in this country.. If he had been into other sports , he would have equally achieved greatness. If you had asked him to do CA, he would have cleared it with a Rank. And that's precisely why we hate him. He was the 'samathu payan' we all don’t want to be.(And I am particularly very averse to samathu payans). We cannot imagine him being a sport. He would not have played pranks on anyone in his early days. Yes... And At school, He would have been his teacher's favorite student..(In my opinion, to be a teacher's favorite student is the worst attribute one can have). And to add to all that , this guy was the smartest around.(Certain kind of jealousy creeps in). If only he was a bit of the explosive type he would have upstaged Sachin Tendulkar as the poster boy of Indian Cricket overnight.I remember me and my friends discussing the James Anderson Vs Rahul Dravid spells on FB.(Personally I felt their duel last summer was the best test cricket I had seen for a long time. Both were playing chess against each other.) That was when a non male member of the human species entered the discussion and the topic eventually digressed to their looks.I admit both Dravid and Anderson give doubts to even men on their straightness but what is important is we must all ensure that they both are remembered only for cricketing reasons.

I explained why I hated him. Let me tell you why I loved him.He was one cricketer who maximized his skills to the most.As Laloo Prasad Yadav once put it , he did not milk the cow but cowed the milk.He was completely aware of his strengths. His patience was his strength. He could wait for an hour for that one loose ball to be put away.I remember an ODI against Kenya during 1997 when he struggled to get off.All his shots found the fielders. He just could not accelerate nor could he get out... And after that match he was dropped from the ODI team. He went back to chinnaswamy... He worked on his placement.. He worked on his strike rate..He put in the effort.. He worked for hours...He came back to the ODI side.. He played the 1999 World Cup.. He just did not play.. He was the highest run getter in 1999 World Cup. That says about the man..This friends,is purely the triumph of human will power.

He has played some fantastic ODI innings.One of my favorite amongst those was the innings he played at Bristol in 2007 Vs England. The track was a belter. Sachin scored 99 and had left. Dravid was there with Dhoni for the last 10 overs. A player of the classical mode and as someone who was accused of wasting balls in his early days, he proved all critics wrong as he kept square driving the bowlers(particularly Broad) through point and one particular square drive(of anderson)actually went for a six over point. That was the first and last time I saw someone scoring a six with a square drive!.During the press conference, he humbly said 'it was one of those days'. He still holds the record(along with Agarkar)for the fastest fifty by an Indian(21 balls).We could clearly see the effort he had put in.

So.. what was Dravid's greatest test innings ?

I would certainly rate his 3 centuries now at England among the best I have seen. His 180 with Laxman changed Indian Cricket forever.His innings at leeds in 2002 along with Sanjay Bangar is one of the best test match batting partnerships I have seen.(That without doubt would certainly be Sanjay Bangar's best).His double century at pakistan in 2004 has special historical significance.His 2 fifty's at Jamaica are rated amongst the best innings that were not converted into centuries.I was too young to remember his first century at SA.People rate it high.(Infact I dont remember that innings).His exploits at adelaide in early 2003 is test batting at its best. It was near miracle innings. My favorite would be that.

The problem with Rahul Dravid's innings is that the highlights package wont show you his class. That is because watching Sachin attack gives us Joy.., Watching Laxman's wrists gives us Goosebumps.., Watching Dravid leave the ball gave us assurance , Watching him defend , gave us reassurance... Sadly his 'defence' and 'leaves' will not be part of any highlights package. As Anil Kumble put it , he gave such an assurance that the batsman at the other end would take that extra risk.Since Dravid was at the other end, a Tendulkar or Ganguly would play/ are allowed to play that one indiscrete shot (and this would be part of the highlights package).That for me is working as a team.. For him the team came to the forefront.He declared when Sachin was on 194..(That is also probably the only controversy in his entire career.). He kept and opened even though he did not like it.

We will miss you champ.. We have all been watching and enjoying the way you check your shoulder...Your stance.. Your sweat…Your straight elbow..The way you would hunch on your front foot and then the how your body would bounce as if it had hit a trampoline and the way you would quickly balance of your back foot which would make way for your bat to create an arc for that beautiful square cut of yours...

It is important that India stops searching for next Rahul Dravid.That would be very unfair on the person who is going to occupy no.3. For Dravid will be the greatest No.3 in my books. Next person will simply be the next person.It is important for the Kohli's and Rahane's to understand that they cannot and should not replicate Dravid's style. They have to be themselves...

It wouldn't be a surprise if Dravid releases an autobiography. Can't be sure whether it would be sans controversy, but I am sure among other things it will have its share of good humour. From his columns and prepared speeches , we now know Dravid is a good writer.Probably good is an understatement...

I will be there on April 21 at MAC just for you... Here's hoping that part of your swansong lasts a little longer that evening...

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Being Appatucker...


The Moment....

It is special.(Even considering the time delay it took).When the D day arrived ,the usual symptoms like body shake , excessive sweating , loss of appetite etc happened.[I have experienced it 7 times totally..{including PE 1 , PE 2 etc. (These are situations where clarification becomes an absolute necessity)}].(OK.I accept , if you keep on reading my blogs , you would become an expert in BODMAS/BEDMAS rules).Ok.Without digressing further , we will proceed.The result was announced around 12 Noon , but I was refreshing the page every 5 minutes from 8 AM.Now, whoever writes these scripts , I dont know.From 11o Clock , I was inside a conference room , attending an all India Con Call training on FEMA basics.Around 12 Noon , when it became unbearable(combination of frustration of delay of results and irritation because of the monotonous tone of the speaker), the page suddenly refreshed. These are moments in your life when you can actually hear your heart beat.(Even writing about this now sends shockwaves within me).I put the roll no. and the captcha alphanumerics in the correct case(indha tensionla idhu vera), and I hit enter. I saw the result and rest is history....

Immediately I excused myself from the training and called my mother(who gave a reaction like 'OK.. I knew it would happen'!)...And , I stepped out of office and took a stroll on the Nungambakkam High Road , just to experience an 'high' which a professor during my foundation (PE 1) days used to tell. It seems he felt after clearing THE exams as if every passerby at Nungambakkam(Near ICAI) was looking at him and admiring..(nennapu thaan..) He added that he felt as if an entire crowd in a moving bus were popping their heads out and wishing him...He therefore wanted us (all students then) to experience the same.(and for experiencing that, we had to work hard aam). And so I went...

Thereafter.....

The fact of the matter is nothing of that sort happened for me... :(. No one were popping their heads out and wishing me... The truth infact was , even at 1 AM , I was shivering (partly because of the untimely cold weather in Chennai and partly due to {mix of 'end' of nervousness and 'beginning' of excitement.}). However..That too was short lived.I thought I would be on cloud nine if I cleared.But no.. It was just that moment. That's about it.To be frank , there was no 'Kick feeling' at all.(sappunu irundhuchu..). Probably this is how people feel after marriage too??.

I could have written this blog on the day of the result.However, a colleague of mine told me that I feel 'sour' because the *feeling* has not yet sunk in to me. And hence..I waited for sometime to see whether 'it' sinks in somewhat inside me so that I would be able to bring out the complete picture. I gave time to myself , just to see whether the way I felt became different... 3 weeks later .. Here I am.. feeling different , not exactly in the sense my colleague told , but I got a completely new perspective about my life and most importantly , I killed all the demons inside me... I think I am fresh now than ever before with a clear mind.. For me , this result is like finding that one missing piece in an otherwise solved jigsaw puzzle.

Going forward....

The thing with this course is , at the end of four to five years after beginning , you can either become completely haughty or you can become extremely depressed with self doubts looming large all over you. The middle one's are extremely rare to find.The thing about haughtiness is the fact that its like body odour , you wont realise it until others point it out to you.(And it smells bad.) You try to convince yourself that you aren't haughty but you continue to walk two steps above the ground. This is bad but it does minimal damage to the self. Not like its antonym , which is excruciatingly painful.



If you flunk a couple of times (in my case , 2 years before even writing the exams), suddenly the anger in you to prove others wrong would fade , and you would end up proving things to yourself.You would feel insignificant in world.To be frank , for a major part of the past three to four years , I did not live , I existed... You will end up fighting not only the exams , but a battle with yourself. The motivation levels would drop. The evenings would become very depressing. Murphy would seem to be in full form.You start hating life and suicidal thoughts would haunt you.(After one very bad day in office a couple of years back , I actually planned to jump from a suburban train between Kodambakkam and Nungambakkam station.In fact I went and marked a place..!. Thankfully , something stopped me from doing that silly act then.Something inside me said , lets fight it out..To think of that idiocy of mine now seems very funny..)To come out of that and win requires a motivation and determination of a completely different kind(which lesser mortals do not know or understand - Read haughty idiots)... People should understand, every person has his or her own problems for failure... Having a very very low self esteem is surely one very big problem.


I have always felt that if ever low self-esteem were a physical condition such as cancer or AIDS, or a potentially life-threatening habit like smoking and alcohol and drug abuse,the Goverment would declare a national emergency,pump in massive funds and organise a mass publicity campaign to combat it...Think about it.. 'Confidence' is such a crucial factor to a happy and fulfilling life. It influences your success at work, your family life, relationships and leisure activities.It affects your performance in everything you do. A belief in one's self is without doubt the greatest asset of all.Even great wealth and fame cant compensate for a poor self-image. A Man who doubts himself is like a man who enlists in the ranks of the enemy and bears arms against himself.He makes his failure certain by being the first to be convinced of it. - Alexandre Dumas.

People who lack confidence and self belief always underachieve.! They're less adventurous and less likely to get most out of life.They are prone to stress related problems , including anxiety (imagine the pressure if that is in addition to CA exam anxiety),eating disorders and mental health problems...

If only I had great articulation skills , I could have given you an heart wrenching story (a la vikraman) but I could not and hence did not. It took a lot of time,effort and pain for me to come out from where I was. I cant confidently say I am out of it completely. However , I have understood , every person has his strength and weakness. Its all about maximising the strength and minimising the weakness.The good thing now is , I have become very cool.I am not at all perturbed about any problem that comes my way (For I have gone through this and there cannot be something worse than this) and I am handling all that with considerable ease. That is good. Very good. I now want to enjoy life. I have missed 2 seasons of IPL , a world cup , SA tour of India, India tour of SA , 2 Champions League , Aus tour of India ,An exciting Ashes etc.. Lot of backlog needs to be cleared... is it not ?:)

Let me accept the fact.Becoming a CA was a dream for me.It has happened ! It is very very important for people to live their dreams. It is a special feeling. Unfulfilled ambitions are the worst thing a person can have... If you want something very very badly , you will get it.. It may come late .. But it will come.. Believe..


Funny how things change with postive results and very ironical that 2012 is synonymous with apocalypse , for it is the year where I begin.(Please.. the world should not end now..)Does this angry young man still feel that life is unfair..?.. Yes.. He does.. He has reasons for it.. In future he may add to that profile of his that life is unfair but its still good..:) Now.. There you see a change..Dont you? (Hopefully , going forward no more depressing posts).. All seems well. Hakuna Matata :)(At least temporarily).

The strength I had during my school and college days vanished in the past four years.. All I want is to regain it. Yes.. I want that CHUTZPAH I once had back... and if that happens.. I am back completely...

"Some failure in life is inevitable.. It is impossible to live without failing in something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well never lived at all.In which case , you failed by default" - J K Rowling

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Chennai 600005. - A Love Story.

"The whole thing was played on a low, turning pitch,
Pocked with crescendos rabid and rich....
Wild exultations and then groans of despair,
Appeals to the umpire cutting the air....
When day’s play was over..it wasn’t for me,
The music bowled on and was served up for tea...

Ceaseless discussions on technique and form,
Re-hashes, re-caps and replays were the norm...
Then out to the yard with caps, ball and bat,
And as darkness descended the cries of “howzat”..
Echoed down 'gullies', cleared birds from the thickets,
The volume as loud as in match-winning wickets.." - JAMES MORGAN(modified)


In the usually hot march of 1998 , there was this 10 year old boy ,who bunked school on a friday and went to see a India Vs Australia Test Match at Chepauk along with his uncle.There began his tryst with MAC(Destiny??).


The excitement had started a week before. 5 days before the test match, I went to the stadium to buy the tickets. I bought two tickets.It was Rs.400 per person for all the 5 days (Expensive those days)in the Essar Stand A of the old MAC. I came back home and gave it to my mom and asked her to keep it very very safe. So.. Where did she keep ?.. She took them and kept it in the drawing room table draw !. Apart from the tickets , the draw contained hairband with some hair , medical bills , tablets , doctor prescription , loose change , provison store list ,EB card etc. It was clumsy to say the least. At School , I would all day think about the safety of the ticket.A lot of things would run in my mind. What if my mother disposes it unknowingly ? What if the someone flicks it ? What if my father accidentally loses it .? What if the ticket was fake.?.. For four days that week , I would rush back home from school and head straight to the draw. I would breathe easily only after seeing it. I would then take the ticket in my hand , go to the window (for sunlight) and look at the hologram of the TNCA affixed from different angles and would satisfy myself that the ticket isn't fake.During nights , I would wake up and on the pretext of going to the bathroom would go the draw and look at the tickets and ensure myself that it is safe. Yes.. It meant so much to me.


Now , the D DAY arrived. I woke up very very early and was vomiting with excitement all morning. Now my uncle had to accompany me. I spoke to him the previous night and asked him to come early .Now these uncles are always known to disrespect punctuality.He was no different. I was getting restless. He finally came around 8 30 and we both then went to Hotel Sukha Nivas (Right opposite to the apartment that I lived in LUZ) and parcelled Idly's for our lunch. That walk from Sukha Nivas(Luz) to Tirumailai (probably 50 Metres) seemed eternity. When we were waiting for the train to start , people in the train informed us that Azharuddin had won the toss and India would be batting .The train started and finally I reached the stadium at around 10 am. We entered the gates and I was greeted with huge deafening cheer and sounds from loud paper trumpets.It was electric. There were no security checks then as it is nowadays. The ticket checking lady inquired me why I was late. I pointed my fingers at my uncle.She laughed and let us in. We proceeded towards the stairs and the moment for which I was waiting arrived. The first bit of International cricket that I saw was Navjot Singh Sidhu edging a ball from Paul Reiffel between the slips and the echo of the ball crashing into the advertisement boards.Few hours later came a man for whom the entire stadium was waiting. The second wicket had fallen. People were cheering for Sidhu's dismissal !. From a corner I could see... Yes.. There he was... Sachin Tendulkar was making his way in from the Anna Pavillion... This was my first glimpse of God.


This series was built as the 'Sachin Vs Warne' series. (That was how it turned out to be in the end.) Sachin Tendulkar came to the crease and he had to face Warne.

Ball 1 -> Sachin stepped out and Cover drove for a Boundary.There was a huge roar. The very first ball that Sachin faced was sent to the boundary.
Ball 2- -> Defence
Ball 3---> Defence
Ball 4---> Defence
Ball 5---> Sachin went for another extravagant cover drive , the ball took the edge and Mark Taylor at the slips catched it at around shoulder height. There was stunned silence. I could actually hear Ian Healy scream with happiness.Sachin was out for 4 from 5 Balls.. !

But that was not the story of this match....

As Murphy would have it,SACHIN hit 155* on the fourth day(Monday) and I was ORDERED to go to school.That 155* was the innings in which he tore Shane Warne apart by slog sweeping him from the rough(footmarks) outside his leg stump.(Practice given by L Sivaramakrishnan).That was the innings in which he first employed his now trademarked paddle sweep to counter the turn from the rough.Ian Chappel regards this innings as the best he has seen from the master.India won the test comfortably , largely due to Sachin.

People trying to see the action through a Vantage Point at Chepauk Railway Station

My Intention through this post is not to revel on the history of the game at Chepauk. That is a job best left to Mohandas Menon's of the game. No one can deny Chepauks significant share in history of the game. People can never forget the Tied test , Dean Jones's near death double century , Saeed Anwar's 194(which has now been broken thrice , Sehwag's 300 on a placid pitch(which I witnessed bunking college)and many more. But according to me , the story of Chepauk is all about three great test matches. One was the test match that I referred above. Second is the test match between India and Pakistan played in 1999. Third is the very famous 2001 Australia Test Match.

The actual View from the Vantage Point - World cup 2011 Eng vs SA

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The second incredible story of MAC happened in the year 1999. This was when Pakistan and India met in bilateral series after a hiatus of 12 years. The atmosphere was tense as these matches were played in the background of Kargil War. This test was completely worth of all the hype surrounding its start. Pakistan team was filled with great bowlers and incredible batting line up and India prior to this series were unbeatable at home. The battle of Sachin with Waqar, Wasim and Saqlain was much talked about prior to the series. The game began and both teams were neck and neck after the first innings. India gained a slender lead of 16 after the first innings.

Pakistan began their second innings on a positive note and in spite of losing wickets at regular intervals, it seemed like they would set India a huge total to chase. Afridi hit a great hundred. Ijaz and Inzamam also chipped in. Pakistan was well on course for a huge total. At 275/4, already leading by 259 India’s chances seemed glum when Venkatesh Prasad probably bowled one of the best spells of his career. He took 6/33 as Pakistan collapsed to 286 as their last 6 wickets fell for just 11 runs. India began their second innings needing 271 to win with more than 2 days to go.

Indian second innings did not get to an ideal start as Waqar dismissed both the Indian openers with just 6 runs on the board as Sachin Tendulkar joined Rahul Dravid in the middle. Both these players took India to safety without further loss and it was all set for a brilliant 4th day.

Sachin backed himself up against his longtime nemesis Waqar & Wasim. Sachin's determination was more fierce than Chennai's heat. The wicket turned out to be a two-paced one. When the fast bowlers bowled it was reverse swinging and when the spinners bowled the ball turned square.

I did not go to this match.I was watching it on TV. Wasim Akram’s peach on the fourth morning went through the wall’s defenses (A Video of this dismissal is put in one of my previous blog posts) as India was in early trouble at 50/3. Azhar and Ganguly (one pitch catch it was) got out to poor decisions to leave India tottering at 82/5 when Nayan Mongia walked out to join Sachin Tendulkar.

Both these players saw India through to lunch and in a sedate partnership took India to tea with 5 wickets still in hand.After tea,the mood changed, Sachin and Mongia had decided to attack and the runs flowed quickly and India were racing towards the target. It was exhilarating to watch the proceedings as the bowling attack of Pakistan was brilliant and the world’s best player was involved in a fierce battle to win the game for his country. Those who witnessed this innings must consider themselves privileged . Sachin was counter attacking Saqlain on a wicket which was turning square. He was battling back spasm too in the middle of all this which made this innings even greater.



India was 218/5 with just 53 to get and we could see Pakistan losing hope. They had taken the new ball to no avail as Mongia and Sachin were scoring runs at a fair clip. This is when Mongia decided to display one of the biggest brain freezes of his career. Trying to loft Wasim over the top, got himself caught at mid-off leaving a struggling Sachin to take India to victory along with the tail. Anshuman Gaekwad, the then coach in an interview later said that if he was in charge of selection , he would have dropped Nayan Mongia straight away. Sachin got out to Saqlain trying finishing the game with only 13 needed and the Indian tail collapsed in a hurry as India fell short of the Pakistan total.It was Hari (My Neighbour) , a class XII Vidya Mandir student then , who explained to me what Saqlain was planning. He said he expected Sachin to go over long on/mid wicket area as the long on was removed and brought in. He also said Saqlain would lure him with flight and he said he expected a leading edge if Saqlain bowled a doosra . And that exactly happened.!(What a cricketing acumen he had.! I realised it was not cricket I was watching , but Chess.)The criticism that Sachin is incapable of finishing matches started from here. And the now famous 'Sachin century adicha thotruvom' began from here. After battling for close to 7 hours , the Great Man had to depart, reason - one bad shot. After a display of divine batsmanship, a needless shot ended it all. Truly it was a heartbreaking loss and a very hard one to take as if you are an Indian fan. It was so near yet so far for the Indian team.However, The story of this match does not end here too.

When the game was over unlike all the other grounds in India, in spite of an Indian loss the crowd stuck around. The Chennai crowd rose in appreciation of the Pakistan team as the victorious neighbors took a victory lap in India. Who would have thought that it was even possible? It was a brilliant moment as the fans clapped till the end and it was a victory for the game. Sharayaar Khan , the manager of the Pakistan team then , now a diplomat wrote in his the following "Before the 1999 series it was winning that mattered and not the skill and art of cricket. Post-1999 (Chennai Standing Ovation)things changed and perhaps for the first time the attitude of fans and players of the two countries underwent a sea change.The reaction of the Pakistanis to the behaviour of the Chennai crowd after Pakistan won the Test match in cricket was one of awe." Cricket is a sport and it’s beyond borders and the crowd that day proved the same.

The very famous Standing Ovation given by Chennai crowd to Pakistani players during their victory lap - Something that was unimaginable in the background of 'Kargil' episode.

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Dravid unleashing champagne after winning the 2001 Border Gavaskar Trophy - Anna Pavilion


The third incredible story of Chepauk to me is the third test of the 2001 Border Gavaskar Trophy. I desperately wanted to watch this.(After what happened in Kolkotta, who would not desire?).I still remember myself and Kedharnath literally begging for tickets from my class teacher (Kalyani Srinivasan Ma'm). She had once hinted , someone close to her was a TNCA member.But she disappointed saying there was too much demand and it was impossible.

Sachin with the Border-Gavaskar Trophy 2001.


However, a guy named Deepak Kochar who was in C section in school , gave me the ticket for the second day. And so I went. The things that I saw that day I cannot forget. The first day was a boring day with only 3 wickets falling and Australia slamming 330 odd runs. During the second day , all the Australians were all out before lunch with Harbhajan and Sachin taking the remaining 7 wickets.

Steve Waugh and his team mates appreciating the crowd after they lose a thriller

The most famous dismissal was of Steve Waugh's who was given out 'Handling the ball'. Remember , there were no screens in the stadiums those days and I thought it was LBW only to be corrected by a fellow spectator who had radio with him.


I could not watch Sachin's batting (who once again scored a Century) as Shiv Sundar Das and Rahul Dravid saw the day through. What happened the rest of the test match , I need not say. Its embedded in our veins. So.India won by 2 wickets and quite fittingly Harbhajan hit the winning runs.

Bhajji hitting the winning runs - Scenes etched in memory (2001)


It was the series that changed Indian Cricket forever..


There are other matches at Chepauk that are worth talking about too.There was this ODI against England that I went when I was in Class 9. Myself , Mithran and Kedhar went to that match. I still remember Mr. Neelakantan (Then Principal), granting me holiday for stating the truth that I was indeed going for the match.This was the match in which the big screen(showing replays) was first installed for a match in India. TNCA had brought this from MCG and it replaced the traditional old scoreboard near the D stand.

Also , I have witnessed 2nd Day of the test match between India and Australia in 2004(Courtesy: Kamesh who gave the tickets). This was the famous series where Aussies finally conquered the 'final frontier'.This test match was a shame since , the last day was washed out with rain and India needed 200 odd runs with all 10 wickets intact. I have witnessed Lara batting here and hitting a 50. This happened when I was in college. It was an ODI match in 2007.What an experience that was.


Also , can we forget the chase of 387 against England in 2008(the test match which was shifted to Chennai after Mumbai Blasts) where Sachin and Yuvraj took India home after Sehwag's blitzkrieg 80 odd.Not surprisingly, this is a test match that I missed.It was like Sachin answering the demons of 1999 from the very place where he could not finish it off.

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I am not dwelling on the IPL. Afterall its a domestic competition.We are happy that Chennai's Super Kings are the Manchester United of IPL.Ask Michael Hussey or Doug Bollinger , they will confirm that they are loved here more than they can even imagine in Australia.The only IPL match that I saw was CSK vs Kochi Tuskers Kerala.(That was the last match that a franchise called Kochi Tuskers played.)

The IPL Fever - Sea of Yellow


And as we all now know , the stadium is renovated and its looking good.Previously it was a concrete jungle. Now better. Much better.Great stands , full seating (unlike squatting). However the G , H and I stands (empty yellow chairs that you often witness ) are not allowed to be occupied and we hear that this is because CMDA approval were not obtained for erecting those stands.

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There is however a thing about this beautiful Chepauk (apart from the stinking Buckhingam Canal that runs closeby)that irks me. Yes.. from the year 1996 to 2011 ,the MLA of Chepauk constituency was this person named M.Karunanidhi. Enough said I guess. Ha ha...

Now each one of us have got their own story about the magic we experience at Chepauk , dont we ?.. Hoping the Chepauk Magic Continues.


Cricket lovely Cricket,
At MAC where I first saw it;
Cricket lovely Cricket,
At MAC where I first saw it;
Warne tried his best
But Sachin won the Test.
They gave the crowd plenty fun;
It was the 'First Test' and India Won.