Half

Statutory Warning: This post is yet another self introspection report card from me to myself. I can understand that there is not even a tinge of that tone of surprise in you the reader and hence you can choose not to read it further.....

(But.. if u have decided to plunge, so be it... ) As already said , this is yet another attempt from me to look at myself from a distance, observe and correct. Too much of self introspection is certainly not good for oneself and I know it from experience. However, being the loner that I am , I am finding it hard to kick the habit. At the end of every day, I end up doing  this 360 degree feedback.(See, being in the corporate world for some time now , I surely can speak some of that lingo).

First thing that I have noticed in myself is some achievement for which I am both happy and sad at the same time. What may be that mighty achievement ?. The answer is I have substantially lost my temper. I nowadays almost forget to get angry !. QED from workplace where I received a written feedback from a junior colleague stating that I am the most calm person in the team. Funny ! but people who know me from my school days would vouch for that abrasive fury I used to emit. Isn't it good to have lost that ? That is the question that comes up in my mind often. I am proud of it but at the same time I must admit that there is tinge of sadness due to the fact that I think I have lost the rage a tad too much and I sometimes now feel I have lost my identity in some way. Honestly, there was never a conscious effort from my end to reduce the anger. The only probable reason could be to avoid that miserable feeling you get after getting angry.

 There is relevance to the previous paragraph since its a SIGNIFICANT change in me..(that caps was intended). And.. I am looking forward to more such changes. If this change could be possible (sans efforts) , why not with other aspects in me with efforts is what my post is all about. There is context to everything that happens around me right now and I realise that I am at a very peculiar position in my life where I have not been before.

I now realise that I have some strengths.Like this one for eg , I can confidently say I am definitely a notch above quite a number of people in appreciating and understanding a creative work be it either Tamil(even among Tamil students who scored 200 out of 200 in board exams , and I cannot write Tamil)  or English. I have observed people who really are dumb in appreciating a creative work (who are otherwise brilliant at studies or at work!). Weird. I am abstaining myself from quoting real life examples since I do not want to go back to having bad temper.

I know I am a notch above the crowd in appreciating a game of cricket.I am completely aware of facts.Unlike the majority, I know why a batsmen takes guard. I know why the sight screen is important. I know what reverse swing is.(And I know a lot of 'brilliant' people who have different theories on what reverse swing is, like this tall brilliant bespectacled guy who thinks reverse swing is when the ball moves backwards (reverses aam) after pitching !!). I know some serious stuff about some cricketers. If someone says, Dale Steyn can swing the ball both ways, I would ask since when ?. Dale Steyn has been and will always bowl outswingers (to Right handers) only. It is only his teammate and counterpart Vernon Philander who can swing the ball both ways. Of course Steyn can straighten and also reverse the ball (Proper reverse I mean :P).  I can appreciate a tense situation in the game. I can grasp what a bowler is trying and how the batsmen is countering and vice versa. Also, when technical points are discussed in Star Cricket(no other channel discusses technical points), I am able to understand ! Also , I can easily say whether a batsman or a bowler has learned from his mistake.

Coming to life other than cricket , I now understand that I have a different perspective from the others.I am more towards values. I am a 'means' guy more than the 'ends' guy. For me means are far more important than ends. Very complex but true.Also, I have some non-negotiable points. I cannot tolerate haughtiness. I have instant hatred to any individual who emits haughtiness.I develop instant hatred to any person who is rude.Even worse, I cannot tolerate Idiocy also (as I said above). But why I am saying all this ?. Its because, even though I feel all this , I do not go and express this to that person. I keep it to myself and release words only when I feel it is absolutely necessary. I go through the pain called toleration. This is where I feel , I should be more assertive and open up. A scope for improvement.

Also, I am a fan of subtlety and subtexts. Not sure how many of you are. I like it when something is said and done in a subtle manner. Yes, you may not understand at first and ignore , but if you understand the subtle inner message , the impact is high, much higher than if you dump it on the face. The problem with being outright is , it works but  I doubt whether it has the same impact. Being outright can sometimes turn against you unlike being subtle and saying what you say in subtexts. This is exactly where my limitations sort of begin. I can understand subtexts and interpret many of them but I need help in picking all the subtexts.So, I am half here.

Over the years, people have said that I can write. I know I can write but at the same time I know I do not possess that flair in writing that you expect from professionals.Even worse, there are some words I do not know the meaning at all (ask me to speak , my English is even worse). I do not know the basics of grammar. Ask me what is Adverb, Subject, Object etc in a sentence, I would be blinking. That's precisely the problem.So, I am half here too.

From the Economic Times campaign - A Half cheats himself more than others

 Come to workplace, I know the law , but the finer points , I don't know them all. Also , I keep forgetting. I need to be constantly in touch with it to understand. That 'technical' knowledge in work ,the fact that I don't know the full stuff rather the necessary stuff is sort of making me feel low.(I link again. These technically brilliant guys express idiocy when they talk about any creative work. That I am not able to fathom at all.) Also I am total sothapifier with regard to numbers.Also my concentration span is very limited. Here is where my diffidence comes from. The fact that  I realise I possess only half knowledge in this aspect... Then comes the important question as to why do we need to know more than half ?. Probably because of the confidence (real not fake) that it gives you. Also you have no excuse in not knowing it.

There are other doubts and questions I have too.. Are everybody Half somewhere ? Whether this phenomenon is with me alone ? and other confusing questions...... Whatever it may be, but at the end of it all,  I would say that I understand that  there are places where I know that I am much much better, but at the same time there are places where I am not in sync at all .........

Again from Economic Times campaign - The Problems of being Half

.....And that is why I confidently say I am now a Half.  I will let you all know (including myself) if and when I have made some journey towards full.Yes. I wanted a place to inscribe the promise that I made to myself (to not be half) so that I am constantly reminded of the target and warned of deviations. 

Hence this Half.

The Intermission 

Rimes from an 'Hopeless Romantic'...

As it happens , I am back with my 'polambals' after a hiatus of 2 months which I think is quite normal considering that I have now officially entered a 'job'(which i must admit is a completely new pressure to handle).The other reason (main reason) for my absence is frankly lack of thoughts.This is bewildering to me since I normally have ideas overflowing to write about.The sudden 'block' surely has had me in fear. There was/is a fear that my blogging would cease due to lack of creativity.

Hey Mr. Creativity ! Where are you ?? 

Having said that I could have written a couple more in the previous month but I consciously avoided writing about anything that is even remotely close to the topics relating to either Kamal Hassan or Cricket. The idea behind that is surely the fact that I wanted to avoid that nauseating effect(particularly since there is that obvious blog post about Vishwaroopam due in the first week of July).

Coming from that is the obvious question on whether I have lost commitment. And I am not just talking about the break in blogging. Looking back , I have a feeling that I had much more commitment to whatever I did previously. I fear that the aggressor inside me has toned down a bit something like what happened to Dhoni in the past couple of years.I only hope its momentary. Put in Tamil , I can say everything in life to me now has 'thegatipochu'.. (Is there an English word to describe exactly that..? Let me know if there is one.). It is dangerous , is it not ? I have ceased to take any problem/issue that comes my way seriously...Why has this happened to me ? I am presently in a state where I think 'edhu vandaalum paathukalaam'.. From being a 'tension party' to being this 'come what may' is a huge change. And I am made to wonder whether this transformation in me is positive or negative..??

Personal fears aside , the one thing that I am unable to come to terms is with what I receive from the world nowadays.. I fear we have as a society failed to receive quality for quite sometime now. When was the last time you heard a QUALITY song?. When was the last time you saw a QUALITY innings ?. When was the last time you saw a QUALITY movie ?. Everything that seems new and interesting is either already seen or is  a  rip off.. Yes.. I fear that there has been quality depreciation all across. I am  made to stick with the notion that whatever that was in the past had quality.I know it is not entirely correct too. This brings me to another important question on whether we have began to accept and settle for the 'second best' and be happy and satisfied ?

Has 'quality'  taken a retirement along with Dravid ?

Maybe Yes. But I have always had a fascination with the term 'Second best'. (By second best , here I mean something like  'Senorita song' in a movie where that is not the best song or Dravid's 180 and not what I meant in the previous para.)If you can get what I am trying to say , you will understand that there is always this heavy competition for the 'best' and according to me it is best avoided. In the commotion for 'trying' for the 'best' , often the 'second best' goes unnoticed. Here is where I try to seize the opportunity. However , nowadays  there is heavy competition for even the 'Second best' since as I mentioned there is a 'quality' depreciation overall..:) (Lol.. how it fits !).

And....

Yes.. coming back to that 'Hopeless Romantic' mentioned in the title. No prizes for guessing who it is.  I am in that stage of my life where every other peer  I meet is either committed , engaged or married.!. And a colleague (irritatingly) reminded me that I am now 24 , and if I ever had to be in a relationship , it should have happened by now. His logic was simple. He said , nowadays, all the good ones are 'picked up' maximum by 17 and even 'leftovers' are being 'grabbed' before 20..!  I showed him back this (below) picture to tell him why I am yet to fall in a relationship...

He put a smiley and wrote 'fool' and then sent me this (below) picture as attachment through Email as a reply....

P.S. I actually consider myself as a 'regular' blogger.... And if there is any 'irregularity' , you know on 'whom' I am likely to fall back to restore the 'regularity'..Here's hoping to meet you all with that person soon :) Cheers.

The Curious Case of Chennai's Bus Routes.

Q)What is the shortest distance between two random points ??. We all know the answer. Don't we?. The answer is 'A Straight Line' .Now the modified question. Q)What is the longest distance between two short distance points ???. The answer - Bus routes in Chennai.!No.Its not a joke.Seriously, I do not expect the bus routes here to be in a straight line. However is it wrong to expect it to be sensible ? I have been searching for some sort of logic in the way these routes have been framed by our authorities.There is none.

I am now quite familiar with majority of the bus routes in Chennai and the truth is its all messy. Even though the quality of buses have improved , it still cannot take away the irritation of travelling in a bus which takes the longest possible route to reach a destination.Take for example the evergreen 5B[T Nagar(Terminus) -> Mylapore (Tank)].The Shortest route is to go straight from T Nagar(Terminus) and then take a right to Nandanam Signal and then proceed straight to reach Mandaveli and Mylapore.What should normally be a 15 minute ride(Nandanam signal permitting) takes 45 mins to 1 hr. Our 5B goes to Saidapet -> Little Mount -> Adyar -> Mandaveli to reach Mylapore.. Imagine an outsider coming to the city and boarding a bus to Mylapore from T Nagar.All he gets travelling by 5B is some free sightseeing of Chennai. He can gawp in awe through the windows when the conductor whistles and says Raj Bhavan,Anna university,Sathya Studio etc..Surely a non chennaitte will remember that to reach mylapore , one must go via Anna University...!. I asked the logic behind 5B route while travelling in 5B to that driver himself.His argument was that this route was framed so that its easy for people in Saidapet and Adyar to reach Mylapore.!.Enna kodumai sir idhu?. The people in Saidapet can reach Mylapore by boarding 45B and people in Adyar can reach Mylapore by boarding 29C.!Why is there a need for 5B then? Bring this point to him and he says 'aamaan illa'!..

The Hero among all routes that I have travelled is 41D[Mandaveli - Avadi].Instead of boarding 41D,You can walk from Mandaveli and reach Anna Nagar earlier. True.I once boarded at Mandaveli around 8 A.M in hope that worst come worst I would be at Anna Nagar by 9.30 A.M and I ended up reaching there only by 10.30 A.M.I just could not quite understand why this bus goes to Nandanam , Ega theatre etc to reach Anna Nagar!.

There is another irritant by the name of 12C [Saligrammam -> Mylapore(Tank)]. I had an irritating experience with this bus when I was in Class X. It was getting late to school and I was crossing Teynampet Signal to catch 12B[Vadapalani ->Foreshore Estate]at SIET.(12B does not stop at Teynampet signal.It turns left and stops next to SIET College which is about 100 Meters away from the signal.) I saw a bus stuggling to get past signal.From a distance it seemed to be 12B.I boarded it and to my horror found it going straight and not turning left.(I had free school bus pass at that time and I could board any bus). I had boarded on 12C..! In a hurry , I got down at Nandanam and ran back to Teynampet to catch 12B...Had I been on the bus without getting down , I would have reached School 1 hr earlier.Felt bad that day , If only all the buses plying to Mylapore had the same bus routes , I would not have experienced that.

Speaking of 12B.I find it as one of the most straight routes in chennai even though it takes an unwanted 'pradhakshanam' around T Nagar.There has been an instance when even the driver of 12B once forgot the routes due to this 'pradakshanam' at T Nagar.Thankfully,he was guided by the passengers.

It was once in Tiruvottiyur that I got to know the real idiocy of MTC bus routes.I had to proceed to Red Hills from there and I got a shock of my life when I inquired about which Bus I had to board and from which side.People there at the Bus stop said to me that I could board any of the buses on either side !!!(opposites)[i.e I could board a bus that is coming from RIGHT TO LEFT or cross the road and board the bus that is coming from LEFT to RIGHT].Queer is it not ?Literally people were running from one end to another to catch any bus that was on that road. I don't remember the Bus Numbers though but this was one experience that I will never forget !

And not to mention 27D[Foreshore Estate -> Villivaakam].It takes 2.5 hrs to reach Villivaakam.It goes to areas in Chennai you have probably never been.Its that long a route.It goes to Pudupet and Egmore to reach Villivaakam.! I realised the best way to reach Villivaakam is to board a 29C , get down at 'Motcham' and board 27D from there.It is possible that you might catch a 27D bus that left the Foreshore Estate Terminus 2 hours before the latest one.!How pathetic.

Heard of same destination and different routes.? You must board 17 series at Kodambakkam.There is plain 17(which almost like all buses is sometimes suffixed with M to charge a Rupee extra) which reaches Nungambakkam. There is 17M/17D both reach broadway. However one among them reaches broadway via mount road (I forgot which one) and another reaches broadway by going to egmore !
Similar is the case of M21G and 45B[Both Guindy to Anna Square but completely different routes].And there are quite a few buses which ply on the same route but with different numbers. Yes. 1 cut and 21 [Both Central -> Mandaveli(same route)].This is what I like to call ''Catch '21' Situation''!.

I do agree the quality of buses have been improved but think of what all one passenger has to endure in addition to confusing routes.You have to watch the board carefully for the following. For there may be an extra 'M',Extn,Cut, and the most important of them all 'Ladies Special'(more so to avoid embarrassment). These rickety bus rides are lot of fun if you know the shortest possible route.The knowledge comes only through frequent travelling and with some bad experiences.I recently heard that google maps have come up with an app for Chennai's bus routes.! Idhu Thevaiya?.It will further confuse the innocent passengers.

Many feel its too late to modify the bus routes since the routes are now embedded into the blood cells of every MTC passenger and any further modifications will result in further confusion.I only hope the authorities simplify routes and revamp it completely in sync with the ambitious 'Metro Rail' once it starts to function.More so since the unified ticketing system for public transportation (The only good thing that Ponmudy did in 5 years) will now be implemented in Chennai. Just wish some sense prevails.

Kamal Hassan and Sundararaman can't Vote !

Kamal Can't Vote... Rajinik(C)an(')t Votes...(ideally the latter should not have been allowed to vote). Its a real pity that a great thinker and creative person like Kamal Hassan is not being allowed to vote..His name is not in the voter's list.His home at Luz Church Road is listed as a godown in Corporation database.!!

The similar thing happened to me(may be coz I am a Devotee of Kamal).My name has been removed from the Voter List!!. I voted from the same booth last time for the assembly elections.!!. After some heated argument with the poll observers at the polling station, I had to surrender to the inefficiency and Red tapism of the Election Commission of India. What really hurt me was the fact that in the voter's list , I saw the name of my Neighbour who died 5 years back!!. Here I am alive and not eligible to vote in spite of possessing a Valid Voter's ID card.( I must have been allowed to vote at least for keeping that pathetic card safe for the past three and a half years).

Coming to the next issue... I am totally agitated by the way some of the 'educated' vote in this country.One of them I spoke with Said 'I will vote for the winning Horse'. Is this an election or something else?. People here vote for the opposition which is the strongest.They do the negative voting.They do not vote for the person they like but vote for the opponent of the person they do not like. They do so for reasons like Vote splits. All I ask them is why think too much?.Democracy is voting for whom you like.
If there is a vote split , let it be. Its a clear case of Democracy being misunderstood.

I am still not able to get over the anger and disappointment of not able to vote this time.As a Tax payer of this country ( well I pay Indirect Taxes!) I should have got an opportunity to Vote. By Not giving opportunity to Sundararaman and Kamal Hassan , the country has made a big mistake.

On a lighter note , this has once again proved that Kamal and Me are very much similar.(Saying this to myself has been the only consolation for getting over the anger and disappointment of not able to Vote!).

Terminate to stigmatize..

Do not Brand...
for the soul might crack..

Do not Denounce..
for the soul might burst..

Do not Stamp...
for the soul might crash..

Do not Stain..
for the soul might shatter..

Do not Mark..
for the soul might break..

Do not Reproach..
for the soul might Fracture..

Do not Stigmatize..
For there might be a Debacle..
For there might be a rupture..
For there might be a derailment..
For there might be a malfunction..

Cease to stigmatize..
Its now or never..

for there is Catastrophe already..!!

My College

sucks!!

Dial-up for dedication ? what is that ?

Read through this familiar conversation....

Vj : Hello , who's on the line ?
Caller : Hi hello...
Vj : what's your name ?
caller : my name is xxxx...
Vj : Sweet name ... how are u?
caller : I am fine & how about you?
Vj : I am fine & now tell me something about you.
caller : I am a blah.... I am doing blah blah blah...
vj : oh .. what a nice course...
caller : yes..
Vj : What song can i play for you?
Caller : I want a song from xxxxxx...
vj : any dedication ?
caller : well... my parents , my friends & ( list goes on..) & then finally to u.
vj : oh thank u..
caller : bye
vj : bye.... & take care...

& the song comes up .....

Aren't you tired of these ...? And there's a lady holding world record for doing this..!!!



&

What in the hell is "Dedication"?...
All your life so many people have liked you and all you do is please them by a "dedication" of a song.(???)!!!

Some of the worst programmes in Television are the ones that makes the caller to call up.Here are some ...

1)All Sun music shows ..(pure shit)
2)Sun Tv "UNGAL CHOICE" (the world record holder,)
3)SS music especially 'CONNECT',"REACH-OUT" and worst is "PCO".

Sorry guys , but we are bored ...




Will Tv channels stop 'vj'ying and play out songs continuously..?
Well we all know the answer , is it not ? They wont stop irritating .

Sensationalism tests my Patience ..!

The rise of sensationalism in today's journalism and television media due to fierce competion is giving headache to none other than the viewers.

The concept of 'Breaking NEWS ' is truly irritating . Following are some of the 'Breaking NEWS ' that appeared on various TV channels.

---> Karishma Kappoor applies for Divorce ..! (Star News)

---> ShahRukhKhan says he is determined to quit smoking ..!(Times Now)

---> Indian Cricket Team returns from Malaysia ..! (CNN-IBN)

I feel somehow that the word 'Breaking News' is justifiable as such news items makes one to 'break' the TV ! In such media when a dog bites a man it is a NEWS and if a man bites a dog it is 'Breaking NEWS'.

Vernacular newspapers and magazines are not far behind if not ahead.
Magazines say a thing that they know it is not true in the hope if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true..!

Whenever I see a Tamil Magazine,I think of the poor trees. As trees they provide beauty ,shade and shelter , but as paper all they provide is only RUBBISH . .!!

Here is where I coin a new term called 'Tearing NEWS' for magazines and newspapers. It is a sibling to the term 'Breaking NEWS'.(The logic is simple . TV can be broken so the term 'Breaking NEWS' but a paper can only be torn and therefore the term 'Tearing NEWS')

One must notice that all the 'Tearing NEWS' items such as life,real honest to goodness life , murders , catastrophes ,fabulous inheritances , film industry rumours(kisu kisu) ,love and marriage happens almost happens exclusively in Tamil Magazines..!!

Modern Journalism justifies its own existence by the great Darwinian principle of " Survival of the Vulgarist(fittest) ".

The general public must understand that what the Mass media is offering is not popular art or NEWS but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food , forgotten and replaced by a new dish.!!!