Cold Rice..

How worse it is to be unemployed at the age of 23...? I sometimes feel shameful.It sometimes tends to affect you emotionally...No denying that it feels pathetic. However , these kind of thoughts occur during the first few days of being officially 'Vetti'... But as in anything , by due passage of time these kind of thoughts and feelings wear off though not compeletely.. You start hearing it often and if you happen to self depreciate yourself (i.e. before others do),believe me it doesn't hurt that much..

The one thing that gives me satisfaction(though touch disappointed) is the fact that I have been busy being vetti (odd na?). There were several things I always wanted to do but never could allocate time for it...I must say I have fulfilled some of them during this time... First and foremost I obtained my driving licence.(Yes.. I also now know when to use the word license and when to use the word licence(which has always wanted to learn and would forget somehow))..I quite surprised myself with the number of books I caught up with. 'Standing My Ground' - Matthew Hayden, The Mahabharatha(finally I read it), The White Tiger and I am halfway through a book which unfortunately brings back some bad memories.. I have desired of maintaining a library of all songs of Illayaraja. I did achieve that partly when I happened to collect around 700 songs from Kamal Hassan movies and I took the pains to have it sorted film wise,director wise, singer wise , music director wise with everything being chronologically listed...and yes.. I finished 'Angry Birds'... I caught up with quite a number of movies.. Almost all releases one could say... Watched Cricket madly.. That is to say not even missing a single ball in a session.. I blogged quite a bit.. I met up with some old friends..

Also as irony would have it , I was invited to attend a seminar on "Work Life Balance".. This was because a lot of people who were to attend backed out( because they had office..!) and I was asked to fill up (by my college mate who works in the firm that conducted the seminar)so that there is at least some size-able crowd... Frankly I went there for the Buffet lunch they had promised to offer.. Alas, I also ended up having food for thought.. I know a lot of people feel that seminars and other such programs are useless.. I am still of the same opinion , but this one was different... Every issue that came up there was which I had already undergone previously which I did not know how to handle... All along the seminar , my thinking was 'Had I known how to handle this before, things could have been different'...

To think that I deserved this break would amount to saying too much.. Simply because , I know a lot of people who deserve a break.. And I know I dont.. But as life would have it , I am now on a pause button.. BUT this button I think is very important to anyone who is emotionally unstable like me.. There is a lot to reflect..You lazily look back at events and try to find faults in your own self..I did.I felt my mistakes were due to age and temper which can easily be put to being immature.. In difficult situations , some people are mature enough early to appreciate the consequence and react accordingly.Some people are overcome by intense anger that their minds cease to think...Easily I belong to the latter category..How much of the past is relevant?. Some are of the opinion that it is totally irrelevant. Learn from the past but do not brood over it say some.Never forget the past say some. I am not sure. But I know that all of us look at the past and surely say 'It could have been better'.I am no different... With all the time I had , I did reflect..


Coming back to vettiness , The secret to enjoy being vetti is the fact that you must not be bored... And I am not bored.. Not yet.. I may be soon.. I know it and that is my fear..:).. Well, Summa irukkarudhu na summa va ?.. It requires talent and I am very talented.. :)